Shitty Cinema

Gas Pump Girls - Tits and Tires Month

If this movie has taught us anything, it's drop out of school and run a gas station. What could go wrong?

Paranoid Girls - Capitalism Month

Cocaine filled photo shoots, nymphomania, and eating disorders (but in spanish).

Confessions of a Shopaholic - Capitalism Month

You will actually be rooting for creditors by the end of this film. Bonus points if you can stay awake during the whole run time of the film.

Chopping Mall - Capitalism Month

All of the best from the 80's! Capitalism, hair, and horror! Beep boop bop, this one has robots!

Paul Blart Mall Cop - Capitalism Month

If you say "blood fart" 11 times in a row, you'll have a stroke and won't have to go to work. I promise.

Real Genius - Back to School Month

We aren't scientists, but we sure know when enough popcorn is enough!

Kindergarten Cop 2 - Back to School Month

Dolph Lundgren channels your weird racist uncle, Casey brings juice boxes of apple pie moonshine!

Kindergarten Cop - Back to School Month

Schwarzenegger titillates with ferret play and babysitting! Don't forget to do background check people!

The Substitute 2 - Back to School Month

Treat Williams and B.D. Wong ask the hard questions: It's ten pm, do you know where your kids are at?

The DaVinci Code - Read 'Em Then Weep Month

Once again, Juice flirts with danger in the form of a bloated Tom Hanks getting Jesusy.