Shitty Cinema

Replicant - Van Dammeuary

Villain Van Damme and his terrible wig faces off against Virtuous Van Damme while we spend too much time on the weird sex subplot. In the end, everyone agrees that a little more Michael Rooker in our lives is a good thing. 

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Enemies Closer - Van Dammeuary

Are Orlando Jones and JCVD a match made in heaven? Tune in for our romance novel where we make JCVD up yours!

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Black Eagle - Van Dammeuary

Kicking (eh?) off this Van Dammeuary, the gang watches one of JCVD's early films, Black Eagle, starring everyone's favorite ninja, Sho Kasugi. And while Van Damme is bad in this film, he feels soooo good....

 

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Little Nicky - Toes in the Sandler

Special guest Angela forces the cinema to confront their teenage choices in humor, pick the best Arquette, and which comedy gang we would back in a fight.

 

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You Don’t Mess with the Zohan - Toes in the Sandler

A hair raising tale of how to make peace in the middle east by just buying each other's hair product. Get it together Israel, Adam Sandler gave you the blueprint!

 

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Bulletproof - Toes in the Sandler

This week we find that James Caan is the cool breeze we need watching another subpar Sandler movie, while we also find there is a traitor in the cinema. Do you think Damon Wayans can save us?

 

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That’s My Boy - Toes in the Sandler

Adam Sandler ruins another Sunday for the gang with the help of Andy Samberg and a whole lotta pedo/incest jokes. Even James Caan caan't save this turd.

Jack and Jill - Toes in the Sandler

Casey immediately regrets begging for Adam Sandler Month, Dave decides to go to third base with Al Pacino, and Jay becomes a eunich. What a way to kick off the New Year.

Snakes On A Train - Off Brand Cereal

Toby joins us to talk about snakes in all sorts of tubes: sky-tubes, rail-tubes, underwater-tubes, flesh-tubes. . .

 

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Mr. And Mrs. Incredible - Off Brand Cereal

What happens when you mix Chinese theater, kung fu, popular super-hero's with different names, and definitely-not Pixar properties? Something incredible.